Another of these silly little stories about the legendary Choonie-Moonies, the first of the forest creatures to be proven to exist outside of legend and myth…….hahaha. Attached song is a demo only. I have nothing new to upload. Ah well. Hope it has been a nice 2020 so far. Thanks for listening. Modo. Choonie-Moonies Teleport to the Moon Few remember the early days of the Space Race and the excitement generated by the Space Program. Those were heady times and countless youngsters dreamed of being the next brave and hardy cosmonaut to fly into outer space. The Choonie-Moonies are ancient creatures, but they are deep patriots, because the Old Gods have appointed them as guardians of the forest and farmland. Thus the Choonies are tied in spirit to the very soil and hearth of the country of their birth. It was from this sense of duty that they became amongst the first and bravest of the earliest cosmonauts. Choonies are particularly suited for the rigors of space travel. They are small and flexible and their fur gives them a distinct advantage in the deep cold of the cosmos. When they volunteered, it was no surprise that the authorities gave them a warm welcome and an honored place in the Corps. Choonies manned many dangerous flights and even cavorted on the face of the Moon, which is the home of Luna, their own patron and special Goddess. What times those were! When they retired to much acclaim, they were granted many honors, including the keeping of their little custom space suits and helmets. As such, they are in no way jealous of the kitten’s little custom ski suits, which so upset that rascal coyote. “But Coyote. You are a creature of the forest. You do not need a snowsuit. What a scoundrel you are. Behave!”
The Choonie-Moonies have just travelled from the city to Baba’s house in their beloved countryside, with the two Uncles. On the return trip they notice that the crops are looking rather sad. “Uncles. Look at the crops. They look so unhappy. Do you know why dear Uncles?” “There was strange weather all summer. Too wet and then too dry. We need the land to dry and some sunshine to ripen the grain. Then we could have a perfect wheat crop. Otherwise it could be very bad. Baba has said that without a change there would be a bread shortage and hardship in the country. There will be no wheat for flour.” The Choonies are perplexed. The World’s Most Wonderful Snoop McDonut can only be baked to perfection with golden Ukrainian wheat. There will be no McDonuts, no smiling children. No happy faces to greet Choonies at their work. Disaster! There have been many plots to spoil the success of Snoop McDonuts, but now nature might complete the dirty work of the Oligarchs. The Choonies are stricken. “We must help! The Choonies whisper amongst themselves. “Oh dear. How do we contact the Ancient Goddess? She will know what to do. The old days are so forgotten that she has retreated to her castle on the Moon.” “What are you bunch muttering about,” say the Uncles. “I hope you peed at Baba’s house. We will not be repeating that debacle from the way here, you little scoundrels.” “Yes, yes, Uncles. We peed. We are good travellers. Please carry on to our McDonut house. Nothing to worry about.” “We must think carefully. When we are home, we will make a plan to solve this terrible problem.”
Everyone arrives at the McDonut house and the Choonies pile out into the street. “Off you go rascals. Behave and see that your brothers and sisters are all right. Annie and Misha will be home soon. Now off you go.” The Choonies enter and run to the den. They form the ancient circle and begin their planning. “We must solve this brothers. The ancient ways are gone. We cannot live in the forest. And we love Annie and Misha. We love our little home. Pink Kitten and Yellow Kitten are such wonders. And you’re such a good dog, Puppy McDonut. Even that nuisance coyote is our sister now and we must protect her from her mischief. If there is no flour, there will be no Snoop McDonuts. We will lose our jobs. The children of the world will be so sad that this delicious treat is gone. There is only one solution. We must seek the ancient Goddess.” “But she is on the Moon. How could we possibly find her?” “You forget brother. We are cosmonauts. We still have our little space suits. We can test that they still work. Annie and Misha will not need the teleport. We will fly to the moon and find the Ancient Goddess. She will bless the harvest and everything will be saved.” “Hooray, hooray! To the Moon! Hurray, hooray. To the Moon!” Off they go to test their gear. “Perhaps we should ask Annie and Misha?” “No. We have no time to lose. Our family depends on this and the very earth that sustains us. Please check your space suits.” Each of the Choonies pulls their little suit off the mannequin where it is carefully and proudly displayed in their little rooms. Oh no! Only 3 of the suits still fit or work properly. “Don’t worry,” says Frumpbart, their leader. You three will wear your suits and walk on the Moon. I will fly the teleport and we will look for her Majesty’s castle so we may land close enough.” Choonies can see the invisible lights that guide her because we are of the ancient ones. “But please pee, you imps, before you put on your spacesuits. You can’t have forgotten that debacle from our last trip to the Moon?” The Choonies pee and flush diligently, before donning their custom suits. “Quickly!” To the teleport! You two try to distract Annie and Misha. We are sorry. Choonies can’t lie, but we must do this.” And off they go into the McDonut teleport. The Choonies, having been cosmonauts, know well the function of this device. They choose their destination on the Modo Map and then push the big red button. “Strap in my brothers and I will launch this beast.” Frumpbart pulls the big silver lever back and with a whoosh and a froosh and a rumble, the teleport disappears into the haze of the future. The journey is not a long one.
As they approach the Moon, Frumpbart eases the go lever back so that they might slow and search for the invisible light of Luna’s Castle. “There it is to the west. Our patron always loved the west, where sunset is the latest. Let us land nearby.” “Boom, boom thump, thump, settle,” goes the teleport. Frumpbart was a leading cosmonaut, but it has been many years since he has flown in space. “Are we all right?” “Yes, my leader. Let us depart. We must save the harvest.” And off they go, bouncing delightfully in their own Choonie-Moonie way. How wonderful! It has been 50 years since they walked the soil of their patron and they are giggling and bouncing around like mad things. Frumpbart must remind them on the intercom, “Please my brave ones. We have an important mission. On to her Majesty’s castle. Sure enough, they are very quickly at the gates. “We must look for the bell. Oh my. I hope that the Goddess is home.” “Hello my ancient friends. Of course I am always home for you. Goodness. What a surprise! The old ways are almost gone. I never expected to see any of my Choonie-Moonies again once the space program had ended. You are so welcome here. Please relax and I will float you up.” Soon enough, in a mystical haze, they find themselves floating and landing in a beautiful chamber covered in priceless rugs, tapestries and hangings. The walls glow with a soft light. “To what do I owe such a visit from my old followers?” The Choonies begin excitedly chattering all at once, as they usually do. “Please, please. Calmly my brave ones. What is it?” “Your Highness, we are just back from the country and the season has been possessed. The crops are on the brink of disaster. If the wheat fails, there will be no flour. The children will go to bed hungry. And there will be no Snoop McDonuts. The poor children will no longer delight at the taste of the World’s Most Delicious Treat. And we will lose our jobs. We cannot go back to the forest. We love our little house and our McDonut family so much. And who will save that scoundrel coyote? Please, please, your Majesty. Can you help?” “I see my dears. It is a long and dangerous journey you have made to ask the Ancient Goddess for help and I still have some small influence upon the Earth. It is good to know that someone on the ancient planet remembers Luna, guardian of the forest and harvest. I will do what I can. Your story touches me. And I know of Snoop McDonuts of course, now that it has been decreed as the tastiest donut in the Whole Universe. It would be shameful to lose such a treasure. I have only one request. You must say your prayers each day in the ancient way. But the last time you were on my moon, some of you peed. Please respect my land you little imps. Please wait until you are in your ship” “We are so sorry your Highness. We confess. Each of us peed on your Moon. The journey was so long and we were too excited to pee before we entered our little space suits. “Well pinch it off my brave ones until you are aboard ship. It is a small thing to ask. .” “Yes highness. We are so sorry.” “Well off then you little scallywags. It was a treat to see you. Visit again, now that you have a teleport. It is lonely sometimes in this giant Moon castle.” “We love you ancient Goddess. Thank you so, so much.” And off they wildly bolt towards the ship, because each of them need to pee so badly again. Such rascals! They quickly do their business in the teleport and then fasten into their seats. “We must hurry back lads. We have commandeered the teleport and I dread that Annie and Misha might fire us. It breaks my heart to think it, but we had to do this.” And then they were home. When the door opens, they are startled to see Annie and all of the children waiting for them. The McDonuts are taken aback as well at the little aliens stepping out in their space suits. “Oh no! What have you done with our Choonies? This is terrible! “No, no Annie! Please children. It is us! We are so sorry. We had to go to the Moon. The crops are so sad. If our Goddess did not help us, there would be no crop. Snoop McDonuts would close.
We would lose our jobs! Please do not fire us Annie. We are so sorry.” “Oh my goodness my darling Choonies. Bless you my children. We thought that you knew. Thank you so much for saving the harvest. You are true heroes. But you will always have jobs. You are part of our family now. Yellow Kitten and Pink Kitten love you so much. Our Puppy McDonut adores you. And who will save that scoundrel coyote if you are not here? The children at Snoop McDonuts love you so much. We all love you very much my Choonies. Without you we would no longer be the McDonut family. Thank you for the brave thing that you have done, my children. Snoop McDonuts and the McDonut family will stay strong thanks to our little heroes. ” “Yippee,” say the Choonie-Moonies. “Bark, bark, bark,” says Puppy. “Yippee,” says Annie. “My heroes are all back safely. We were so worried. Now we are together again, the Snoop McDonut family. Bless you Choonies. Time for snacks everyone.” The End.